the trippy hippy

i'm staring at the title of this post, because thats all that inspiration saw fit to give me. i have absolutely no idea what to write after that...but i guess it'll work its way in if it was meant to be. how bout i start writing and see where this goes...

you know sometimes life seems to be this paradox - a slow rush. you feel each moment, you live each minute, and you know it...but in great dollops you look back and wonder how you rushed through all that existing.

sometimes in those stretches of time that seem to have passed by so quickly, it feels like you haven't done justice to the one task you're supposed to be carrying out decently properly - living. i mean you figure you have a leg up already considering you're alive, breathing, and all that good stuff...but living properly, doing justice to the fact that each moment exists, well thats apparently way harder than it seems. go figure.

so i guess this is a shout out to me...yay, i'm now blogging to myself as myself...well 'trippy hippy' it is...i guess thats me...you'll get the uncombed hair, barefeet, flower power 'hippy' part in a bit...but the 'trippy' needed a little bit of crazy to be chucked into the mix and here it is...a letter to me, from me.

here is what i have to say...

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meghana,

you and i should get in touch more. i need to tell you all the things we should do. see there's a long list regarding this whole reconnection deal...i know that university and all those crazy hours and classes and work and six day weeks make it hard, but suck it up. this is you. you're almost done being a teenager. there will never be another day in your life where you can say today is december 18, 2007. ever. think about that. so get on with living already.

i miss wearing tons of black eyeliner and and the freedom to have perpetually uncombed hair (i don't own a comb...i lost my last one years ago). i miss walking around in my barefeet on the grass and down the road, through the acad block...i miss kicking at things (usually walls, not people - however tempting the latter may be) with my ratty, dirty, converse sneaks (the ones with holes and scribbles and writing and the shoelaces with stars on them that make me so happy =))...i want us to have multicolored nails again because having to stare at one color on your hand for days is just way too boring...we love the faded jeans, t-shirts, and dangly earrings, remember? don't forget!

i miss being one with rosita (my acoustic guitar) and i especially miss rubbing that sticker that says "mean people suck" (because damn right they do) for good luck...i want to sing all day long and write down the music in my head...that feeling when the words and the notes and the chords just flow out of you - isn't that just something? indescribable, thats what.

you know, i hate that its winter and i can't pluck a flower and stick it in my hair and that the skies are gray with clouds and i can't feel the sunshine on my face...we should go to the roof of the building and smile up at the sky more often...spinning around, dancing and laughing up there is almost like flying. it feels free and beautiful. makes me want to capture the moment and tuck it away in a little glass bottle and pull it out on rainy dreary days.

i want the time to wander around the city with the camera, taking pictures at random; the time to think through angles and framing and lighting and take the perfect shot...the time to sit in a corner next to the heater, wrapped in a blanket, sipping hot chocolate and writing down random thoughts and lines that'll hopefully one day shape themeselves into poetry, lyrics, stories...i wish we had the time to sit cross-legged on bed and cut up magazines and make collages like we made those ones hanging on the wall...wish we had the time to paint and draw and sketch...its so crazy, that its always about the damned time.

you know, i get the feeling we should dust off those books you haven't read in a while and reread them...like plato and hobbes and voltaire and shakespeare...they used to be your favorites, isn't that right? what about your lists and scrapbooks - things to do, places to visit, people to meet...when was the last time you added something to them? when was the last time you played bridge or spades or hearts or capitalism or spit or speed or egyptian ratscrew (and no, i still have no idea why its called that..seriously, god only knows)? hmm?

nope. no whining and telling me there's no time. there's always time. find it. its there...keeps going on and on in fact. for eternity. there's an endless supply of it. you're smart. you're enterprising. get your hands on some.

you know that other day when i locked myself in a room, turned off the lights, turned up the music, lost ourselves in it, and you danced in my barefeet until we dropped? that was just great. we should do that a lot more. you know i hear music in my head all the time. and i know you want to dance to the music. so let's dance. dance dance dance.

don't forget to live that life you seem to love living (judging by all that smiling and laughing you do when you're actually doing what you want to)...a life full of strawberries, chocolate, green apples, friends, smiles, music, dancing, pragmatism, creativity, silver, lace, lanterns, and giant one-legged stuffed teddy bears called Happy. its yours, you lucky twit. fight for it. hold on to it. don't bloody let it go.

yeah yeah, hugs n kisses. xoxo.

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